Rules
by Take this to Heart
Summary: Because we all need to break the rules sometimes. Especially if your name is Sirius Black.


"Sirius, get up."

I moaned and pushed myself deeper into my soft bed. "No."

"Stop dreaming about Marlene and get up."

I ignored him.

"_Sirius_, get _up_. We're going to breakfast."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes!"

"No."

"_Yes!_"

"No."

Moony gave an exasperated sigh and launched a pillow at my head. "Get _up!_"

"Hey, quit it!" I roared, sitting up and throwing the pillow back at him twice as hard.

He gave a grunt as the pillow hit him in the gut and glared at me. "Stop being so juvenile, Sirius."

"_Me?_ You threw the pillow first!"

Moony shrugged and I turned around, intending to crawl right back into bed and leave Remus and his half-buttoned shirt in the land of awake. Maybe I could vanish the rest of his buttons; that would get a rise out of the ladies…although Moony would just change. Maybe I could vanish half my _own_ buttons and then blame Remus! That would probably make the ladies faint with delight. Oh yes, plan number one is going to be commenced…as soon as I wake up the second time.

Now, notice how I said 'intending to crawl…'? Yes, intending is the key word in this story. It's not that I hold a grudge over breakfast for being so early in the morning; it's just that I don't prefer it. I would much rather eat dinner where you can corner the girl you've been flirting with all day and find a broom closet to snog the life out of her in. That's why dinner is my favorite. If I'm being honest, I wouldn't even wake up until breakfast has ten minutes left. Which is fine with me, I'll still have time to shove something down my throat, just not fine with James who insists that getting our normal seats at the end of the table is necessary.

Sure.

I know he just really can't go a day without his morning dose of Evans.

So, as I was _intending_ to crawl back into my bed, another pillow thumped me in the back. I gasped and whipped around; Remus was calmly staring at the wall, a slight smile upon his face.

"Moony!" I shouted.

"Yes?" he asked, quirking an eyebrow. "Whatever is the matter?"

"_Whatever is the matter?_" I asked incredulously. I growled and launched myself across the room, tackling Remus onto his bed. "_You_…are…so…annoying!"

Remus rolled on top, pinning my arms down with surprising strength. "You're lazy!"

I broke his hold on me and stalked away, throwing on the first things I saw. I pair of wrinkled trousers and a button-up shirt. Remembering my plan, I glowered at Remus who was lounging happily on his bed and moved over to get my wand, performing a silent spell to my buttons.

"Moony!" I complained immediately after. "What did you do to my buttons?"

"Excuse me?" he asked, sounding more than a bit aggravated.

"You ruined my shirt!"

"Wha—I did not—"

"Ah well, I'll get you back for it later," I said shrugging. "Let's go."

Remus stopped his spluttering when I turned around. "You cannot go downstairs like _that_," he pointed.

"Like what? Like the most wanted male in school? Oops, too late, I already am."

"Sirius," Remus sighed. "You look ridiculous."

"I look hot."

"No, you don't," he insisted.

"Yes, I do."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes!"

"Are we really doing this again?" he asked, crossing his arms.

I smirked at him before saying, "Yes."

Remus rolled his eyes but recognized an unwinnable fight. Instead he started toward the door. Yes, I am a Marauder and we break all the rules, even the dress code.

"Hey, where are Wormy and Jamesie?" I asked, looking wildly around at the empty room for the first time.

Remus snorted. "Well, aren't you observant? They went down to breakfast already when you wouldn't wake up."

"You stayed? Aw, Moony, I'm touched!"

He looked at me out of the corner of his eye. "I drew the short stick."

By now we were in the common room, and as predicted the girls were blatantly staring at me. I couldn't wait to see what McKinnon would do when she saw my delicious skin exposed like this. "Told you," I whispered to Remus, grinning broadly. He ignored me. "Wait—" I said, suddenly realizing his statement. "You guys have to draw sticks for me?"

He didn't answer. I pouted the rest of the way to the Great Hall.

As we entered the room, I groaned. "Why is _she_ always eating with us now?"

Remus sighed. "Mary isn't eating with us, she's eating with Peter."

I let out a roar of laughter, attracting even more eyes than I already was. "Peter?"

"Yes, Peter. She fancies him."

I think my eyes literally dropped out of my skull, fell to the floor and then bounced up and back into their sockets.

"Are you…joking? Is Peter really going to have a girl when none of us do?" I scratched my neck nervously. "This can't be happening. I have to find a girlfriend!"

I began scoping out the tables while Remus erupted into laughter. "Relax, Padfoot. He has to work up the nerve to ask her out, which he won't."

"What if she asks him?" I asked urgently, desperately scanning every face at the table.

Remus' smile faltered and his eyebrows rose. "I didn't think about that."

"I'll ask Marlene out!" I exclaimed excitedly.

He sighed tiredly. "You can't. You've been there and done that in fifth year."

"Oh, that's right…" I sighed.

"I don't understand why you can't just re-date someone you've already dated."

"No," I muttered. "That goes against the rules."

"Right…" he murmured. "Okay then, best of luck."

I whimpered and scratched my neck again, feeling uncomfortable. If Peter got a girl, what would I do?

I began to list the faces I saw. "Ex-girlfriend, ex-girlfriend, ex-girlfriend, ex-girlfriend, ex-girlfriend, ex-girlfriend, ex-girlfriend, …never in a million years, ex-girlfriend, ex-girlfriend, taken, she scares me, ex-girlfriend—bloody hell, Moony! I'll have to go into Slytherin territory!"

Remus huffed loudly and ignored me. I stuck my tongue out at his back as we sat down in our regular spots. James looked at me. "Finally, you're awak—I…What did you do to your shirt?"

"I improved it a little," I winked, trying and failing to ignore Mary's loud giggling at something Peter had said. How can Peter be funnier than me? "Want me to do the same to yours?" I asked. "The ladies will come running."

He shook his head, fighting back a smile. "I think I look fine the way I am."

I rolled my eyes. "I forgot, you're holding out for Evans. What, you think you couldn't handle it if someone like Marlene McKinnon suddenly fell in love with you? Oh…that reminds me…" I slumped onto the table, laying my head down. "Prongs, I need a girlfriend before…you know…"

He frowned. "What?"

I jerked my head in the direction of Peter. "Before they…"

"What?"

"Before Peter gets one," I hissed loudly.

James began laughing. "Right, like that's ever going to happen."

I didn't join in his laughter and he slowly stopped. "Wait—_what? _"

"I know," I whined. "And I've already dated the majority of everyone! I can't think of—"

"You haven't dated them," Remus deadpanned, taking a bite of egg.

"What are you talking about? Of course I have," I said, eyeing Moony with concern.

"No, you've merely snogged them for two weeks straight," he informed me.

James began laughing and choked on his pumpkin juice, spraying it all over the table.

I scowled and threw a piece of toast at Remus. "You're friends are so immature," I heard Mary tell Peter. I'm not immature. I'm the most mature out of all of them! If Peter ever dated this girl, I would make sure they broke up within the hour.

"It's true," Remus insisted.

"You know what else is true?" James asked, nudging me in the side. "McKinnon's totally staring at you."

"Well of _course_ she is," I said, buttering my new piece of toast. "It's obvious she still has feelings for me."

"Two years after you broke up?" Remus asked incredulously. "I think it's the other way around."

"Hey, I don't like her…_that_ much and Prongs has had feelings for Ms. Feisty for four and half!" I proclaimed.

"_Ms. Feisty?" _ James looked at me in alarm.

"Yeah…I'm thinking that she just thinks you look funny."

"Why would you say that?" I asked, furrowing my brow at Moony. "You disgust me."

"I disgust you? What about that time when I walked in the dormitory and found you snogging Betty Marsh…on _my_ bed!"

"Now—"

"_JAMES POTTER!"_

We all looked up at the entrance door to see Evans storming toward us, her face flushed in anger (and probably embarrassment (she doesn't take well to the spotlight and currently all eyes in the Great Hall were on her).).

James paled.

"Oh no," I muttered.

She practically flew over to him, hissing through her teeth. "How _could_ you, you _evil_, low-lying, bottom-feeder!"

"What are you going off about?" he asked, running a hand through his hair. Oh, he knew _exactly_ what she was talking about…I wish I did.

"Like you don't know!" she scoffed. "You told him!"

"Well of course I did!" he exclaimed, standing up to match her stance. "Why wouldn't I?"

"_How could you?"_

"How could I? Well it's pretty easy, I just told him the truth—"

"You made it seem like I could actually trust you! How much admiration do you need Toerag?" she shrieked, hurting my ears. "I hate you!"

"You hate me?" he asked, laughing loudly. "That's nothing new."

The entire Great Hall was silent; Professor Slughorn was hurriedly trying to bustle over to them and break it up. I almost laughed as his stomach proved to be a great hindrance; instead I stayed listening to James and Evans.

"Y-You…you scrawny little cheater!" she screamed, stealing Peter's porridge and dumping it on his head. "I'm never talking to you again!"

"Good!"

"And by the way, _Black_," she spit, venom seeping through her voice. I jumped at being dragged into the conversation. "The garden should stay _outside_!"

With that line, she turned and ran from the Great Hall, shouting insults back over her shoulder.

"See if I ever try to help you again!" James bellowed after her. An exasperated scream reached our ears and James fell back into his seat, cursing and wiping porridge from his front.

Mary was glaring at James so fiercely I began to grow a little frightened. Alice and Marlene were both standing up, whispering to each other. Finally Alice trotted out of the hall and Marlene sat back down, looking worried. Marlene never looks worried (she's very calm about everything). While we were dating, I told her that I was eaten and thrown up by a wild Riggtumber and that I had six seconds to live because his spit was poisonous. She kissed me for six seconds and then told me next time to use a more believable lie. But I digress.

Slughorn was almost to James now. He looked flustered and hungry and angry and offended at the same time. Lucky James to get the one teacher that had a strange obsession with Evans.

"Easily the stupidest thing you've ever done," Remus muttered, shaking his head.

"Agreed," I snorted. "Er…but she was a little stupid too. I mean…the garden should stay outside? That makes no sense at all!"

Peter cleared his throat. "You're—your shirt might have something to do with it…"

I looked down at my styled shirt for the first time since I had charmed it and was mortified to see brightly colored flowers sprouting along the seams.

"_What the—_why didn't you tell me?" I all but growled. Peter squeaked and hid behind Mary. Oh, what a real man. "Change me back! Remus, change me back!"

He sighed and with a wave of the wand, the flowers disappeared. "Bloody…"

He shrugged at me and turned back to James. "So…mind telling us what exactly _did_ you do?"

"Mr. Potter," Slughorn interrupted. "Follow me, please."

James pushed away from the table, shoving his hands in his pockets and following Sluggy out of the hall.

"What do you think that was about?" Peter simpered, watching after James.

I rolled my eyes at his naïveté and answered as if it were the most obvious thing in the world (which it kind of was), "Jamesie obviously told the truth and made Evans mad."

Remus clapped a hand to his head and groaned loudly. "I swear Sirius, every day I think you can't get any dafter, and you prove me wrong."

"What? Pete was the one who asked what happened!"

"I—"

"Sirius, can I talk to you?"

I jumped at the unexpected sound of the female voice and turn to find Marlene staring down at me worriedly. I feel the need to once again emphasize how McKinnon is never worried, _ever_.

"Er…"

"Please?" she practically begged. For some reason, this unnerved me…although it shouldn't have because I'm Sirius Black and Sirius Black is quite used to girls begging at his feet.

Thankfully, Moony stepped up to the plate for me.

"All that blubbering he's doing actually means yes, it's just hard to understand him because he hasn't taken his morning dose of articulation potion."

I shot him a glare and erased all the thankfulness towards him from my mind. "He's joking," I told her quickly. "And go ahead with your talk."

"Well not here," she said quietly, jerking her head towards the entrance to the Great Hall.

"McKinnon," I grumbled, standing up and following her out, "this better be important. I'm missing one of the most important meals of the day."

She turned around to shoot me a smirk. "Whatever happened to dinner being your favorite meal?"

I chuckled slightly, grinning at the back of her head. "You always knew how to ruin a man's pride."

"Pride? You take pride in the fact that you lie about which meal is most important to you?" she asked, coming to a halt in front of a suit of armor and turning to face me.

I shrugged. "Not so much anymore. The fact that you just acknowledged I'm a man makes me feel much more proud."

Marlene didn't answer, but instead directed her attention on the floor. I waited patiently for about two seconds. "You know, if you don't really have anything to say, then…"

"No, I do," she said quickly, closing her eyes and sweeping her long blonde hair away from her face. "It's just going to very uncomfortable."

"You're pregnant?"

"No."

"You're carrying my child?"

"Sirius, it's the same thing!"

"You—"

"Just stop guessing," she muttered, cutting across my next guess of 'You're actually a man'.

I obeyed her and leaned casually up against the stone wall, eyeing her face intently.

"What James told you," she blurted out. "None of it is true."

I pursed my lips. "What isn't true? In case you didn't know, James tells me a lot, and it's really proving to be hard remembering it all—"

"Sirius, shut up."

I gasped, offended, but nonetheless ceased my blabbering.

"You know bloody well what I'm talking about."

"I'm pretty sure I don't, but feel free to keep talking," I muttered, watching her with irritation.

"He was never supposed to tell you—I don't even know why Lily and James were even betting on it—it's completely ridiculous. I-I just—"

"You're kind of cute when you're flustered," I said told her, grinning widely.

"See! You do know and now you're just being a prat about it!" She angrily hit my chest with her hand and I instinctively grabbed it, holding it firmly against me so she wouldn't do me any more bodily harm.

"Wha-What are you doing?" she asked shakily.

"Posing for a portrait," I snapped. "What does it look like I'm doing? What's got your wand in a knot this morning, McKinnon?"

She let out an exasperated growl (one that I found very alluring, might I add) and struggled to free her hands from my iron grip. "You are unbelievable, Sirius Black! You know ruddy well how I feel about you and yet you still stand here playing games until dinner when you're going to whisk me into a closet and snog me until we get caught and then after a few days you'll move on to Emmaline Vance or some other girl who's perfectly content with being used by the likes of _you!_ This is exactly what happened last time! God, I'm such an idiot! You know, I thought maybe you'd grown up—"

"Whoa, whoa, _whoa_…._What_ _are you saying!?"_

She glared at me from under her bangs and snarled, "James told you that I liked you so you'd ask me out quicker and he'd win the bet and be able to buy a stupid broomstick!"

I let her hand drop in shock while she continued to watch me with malice in her eyes. If I wasn't so confused, I'd probably find her insanely hot.

After a moment I was able to form coherent words and I began to speak slowly. "You…may fancy me…and James may want a new broomstick…and he and Ms. Feisty _may_ have placed bets on us…but I can assure you that he didn't tell me anything."

The anger was replaced by bewilderment and then mortification as her cheeks began to turn pink. "Er—you should just disregard everything that I said then—I don't think—"

"You still fancy me, McKinnon?" I asked, trying to overcome the initial shock.

She cleared her throat but seemed incapable of answering me. I stood there, watching her while my brain seemed to go into a dizzy spiral of death that no amount of smooth-talking could get me out of. The silence threatening to crush me was abruptly broken as Marlene began laughing.

"I can't believe this!" she giggled. "You wanted me back too!"

"Ex—Excuse me? What?"

She raised an eyebrow. "For the record," she murmured, stepping closer to me. "You're pretty cute when you're flustered too."

"Me?" I asked, stumbling backwards and hitting the suit of armor. "I'm not—I'm never _flustered_." I spat the word with menace as if it were the name of that Slytherin I hexed last week.

Marlene licked her lips. "You look pretty flustered right now. Or maybe you're just nervous because you haven't snogged a girl in weeks. Afraid you've lost your touch?"

My mouth fell open and she wrinkled her nose. "I think you have. Last time, you're mouth wasn't gaping open when I tried to kiss you."

She was in my face, I was able to count every single one of her ridiculously long eyelashes had I wanted to. At the moment however, I was too preoccupied with her lips and how close they were to mine.

"I have not lost my touch," I said defiantly, moving so suddenly that she was caught off guard as I pinned her to the wall.

Her lips were centimeters from mine now, barely tickling them as she whispered, "Prove it."

"I can't," I murmured, caught a bit off guard from the intensity in which her eyes bored into mine.

"Oh right," she said, rolling her eyes. "You're little policy about not snogging girls more than once."

But I wanted to. Oh, how I wanted to just then. "Rules are rules," I choked out.

"I'm disappointed," she sighed. "Rules are meant to be broken, Mr. Marauder."

I watched her with a wavering sense of what was right and wrong.

"Kiss me."

So I did. Because Sirius Black never backs down from a challenge.

I attacked her lips with a ferocity I didn't know I possessed. And even though it was wrong in my book, it was the rightest I'd felt in awhile. She was every bit as wonderful as I had remembered as she battled my tongue with hers, swirling me into the mind blowing confusion that always accompanied Marlene's kisses. Her hands tangled in my hair and for the first time in a while, I didn't mind that it got messed up. My fingers were dancing on her hips as she wrapped a leg around mine.

The clapping and whooping from behind me tore us apart.

I jumped away from her, looking around bleary-eyed and dumbstruck. James stood there with Moony and Evans and Alice and they were all smiling like they had just won the lottery, which I'm sure they did if they were the bet-placing prats Marlene accused them of being.

Marlene was the first to gather her bearings and she cleared her throat loudly. "I thought Lily and James hated each other again," she mumbled in confusion.

James waved his hand through the air carelessly. "We had to come up with some kind of plan if you two were ever going to get back together."

"You planned this?" I asked, slightly outraged, but slightly impressed. My fellow marauders were more devious than I originally thought.

Remus shrugged his shoulders, still grinning wickedly. "It's payback for feeding my Potions book to the Giant Squid."

I rolled my eyes exasperatedly. "Moony! You're not supposed to get revenge on a fellow Marauder! It's in the handbook we made last week!"

He snorted, sending me a suggestive wink that I _never_ wanted to see Moony throw my way. "Rules are meant to be broken, aren't they?"


End file.
